I think at this point we need something quite off-topic just to bring a bit of light to the gloom.....
I see that Dave Burland's name has been mentioned four times in this thread. Every time I hear Dave's name, I am reminded of the story that he told at Whitby a few years back about his neighbour, Bill, back home in Barnsley.....

Bill said to his wife one evening. "I'm just off down the pub, love, to have a couple of pints with me mates."
The vehemence of her reply surprised him. "That's right! Off you go and spend your time with the bunch of losers. You've been promising to put up that shelf in the kitchen for a month now. I'd do it myself if I could reach up that high.... and the last time you went into our front room, you told me that the room was a bloody disgrace and that you were going to redecorate it. When it that going to happen, eh? No you just go down to the pub and listen to your loser mates moaning about football and the government."
Bill stomped out slammed the door and was still not a happy man when he got to the pub. His mates were there but they were all bent over their newspapers and silence ruled. That did not help his mood.
Eventually someone spoke, "What about that match on Saturday?" Groans all round until someone said, "Call themselves footballers? My granny playing blindfold could do better that some of them!" That exhausted that conversation; silence again.
After long gap another another voice pipes up. Pointing to his newspaper he says, "Have you heard the lastest idea by those daft sods at Westminster?" More groans then another conversation ender - "Don't tell us. We don't want to know." More silence.
Bill thinks to himself, "She's right. They are a bunch of losers. I'd actually be happier putting up shelves and decorating than sitting here."
After some more thought, he calls out, "Can anyone tell me if there is a B&Q in Barnsley?" Lots of thoughtful puzzled faces 'A B&Q' 'In Barnsley' Eventually someone answers him. "No, Bill, I think there's just a 'B'."