From my Yorkshire granny Nell, born in Leeds in 1890.

Oor Mary's gorra new bonnet.
She went to church in it a' Sunday
An' all't people gawped and stared
T' see oor Mary in it.
Paason stood up an' said
'This is a place o'worship
Norra flower show'.
Oor Mary said
'Thy 'ed's bald. nowt in it, nowt on it,
Would'sta like a feather outta my new bonnet?'