A kind soul sent me an MP3, so here's my attempt at a transcription. I need help. I'll leave the MP3 up temporarily.

Click to play (joeweb)

PENNSYLVANIA

Off to the finest place there is,
Off to the finest place there is,
Off to the finest place there is,
Why, Penn-syl-van-i-a.

Some say no and some say yes,
Some say it's an awful mess;
You can bet them my address
Is Penn-syl-van-i-a.

That's the place where they have glass windows,
And one and one is two;
That's the place where the chimneys smoke,
Because they cannot chew.
Ta-ta (ta-ta);
Ta-ta (ta-ta);
We're off to Penn-syl-van-i-a;
Ta-ta (ta-ta); Bon soir (bon soir),
To meet my ma and pa.

Now, we had a chicken and he wouldn't lay,
So we cut his legs off one fine night;
Now he can't stand up, so he's gotta lay,
In Penn-syl-van-i-a.

Oh, the girls are full of gin,
Oh, the girls are full of gin,
They're full of gin when they're in
Penn-syl-van-i-a.

You should go there for a spell,
You should go there for a spell;
I should go there to get well,
In Penn-syl-van-i-a.

That's the place where the champagne poodle
Wags it to and fro; [wags his to and from]
That't the place where the cats have kittens
If they are adults. [if they are not dumb]
Ta-ta (ta-ta);
Ta-ta (ta-ta);
We're off to Penn-syl-van-i-a;
Ta-ta (ta-ta); Bon soir (bon soir),
To meet my ma and pa.

Now, we had a chicken and he couldn't lay,
So we cut his legs off one fine night;
Now he can't stand up, so he's gotta lay,
In Penn-syl-van-i-a.

That's the place where the champagne poodle
Wags it to and fro; [wags his to and from]
That't the place where the cats have kittens
If they are adults. [if they are not dumb]
Ta-ta (ta-ta);
Ta-ta (ta-ta);
We're off to Penn-syl-van-i-a;
Ta-ta (ta-ta); Bon soir (bon soir),
To meet my ma and pa.

Now, we had a rabbit as white as snow,
And we says to him, "Buck up and grow,"
But he can't buck up 'cause he's a dog
In Penn-syl-van-i-a.

Some say no and some say yes,
Some say it's an awful mess;
You can bet them my address
Is Penn-syl-van-i-a.

From an LP by the Garret Singers, featuring Vic Gammon.