I know that nothing about any of this farcical tragedy is supposed to be funny, but I notice that the time of our departure has been set for midnight on 29 March 2019.

That would be midnight Central European Time.

So that's 11pm UK time.

So we can't even walk out in triumph having "taken back control" of the clock. The very last act of the EU will be to nick an hour off us!

Oh, and by the way, Nigel, here's an entirely voluntary lapse in my customary good manners: sod off.