John Connolly's song always impressed me as among the best
Jim Carroll

SCARLET RAYGUNS
(Send Us A Postcard John Conolly CD)

I peeped in to say Goodnight and I heard my child in prayer,
Send for me a Scarlet Raygun that will burn off Daddy's hair.
Oh dear Santa, if you've got 'em send me bullets and a shell.
Last night Daddy smacked my bottom, send a hand- grenade as well.

I've seen the toys upon the telly, Tommy Gun and Action Man,
Lower gently down my chimney something nuclear if you can.
Battleships and radar scanners, missile, bomb and limpet mine,
Grandma says I've got no manners, she can be the next in line.

Send some crackers trimmed with holly for Uncle Fred on Boxing Night,
He's the one who's ever so jolly, fill 'em up with dynamite.
My walking, talking robot Teddy, he can fire a lethal ray,
Got my practice target ready, pussy scratched me yesterday.

I don't want a plastic soldier, I don't want one made of wood,
Now that I'm a little older I want one that bleeds real blood.
Send for me a "Johnny Seven", that's a gun that can't go wrong,
I'll send Grandad off to heaven, he's been waiting far too long.

I peeped in to say Goodnight and as I heard my child in prayer,
I put away his Christmas presents, gold and frankincense and myrrh.
Christmas is a time for loving not to play that killing game,
I built myself a fallout shelter, wouldn't you have done the same