Dear Acme,

I've purchased several products from you over the years, and the cost is only equaled by what I've spent for bandages. That jerk bird laughs at me. I didn't mean to complain, as it's possibly not your fault.

I see I'll have to scrap the plan to buy gold-tone and pink, coconut-based jewelry. I'll dig something nice up, possibly from my yard.

Have a lovely evening.
~CC