So this is a true story of what happened to me last Thursday!
Please can I get a healing Mudcat massive (but gentle) hug!

BLACK IS THE COLOUR
Tomorrow I shall start my Christmas letter,
Much earlier than I've done in years gone by.
And the reason is some selfish unthinking numpty
Left his ad-base on the path - I ask you - WHY?

So I left the really happy evening session,
And when I got just 3 yards from my car,
I hurtled over, cracked down on the pavement,
And all that I could see was bloody stars.

The blood came trickling down my face in rivers,
The pain was in my knees and head and hand,
My glasses lay in bits upon the paving.
But I struggled to my feet, drove home half-blind.

But before I left the scene of my discomfort,
What had tripped me up I tried to ascertain,
It was the base of an advertising hoarding,
But without its board, unseen, I will maintain.

A black thing on a black of blackest pavement,
On a Blackest night no moon, no light it made,
The street lights not so good, and could you blame me
For not seeing what was also in their shade?

So two black eyes, and not so lovely,
Is the price that I have paid for this last fall,
And a hand that cannot play a single note now,
Too swollen, bruised and painful, can't play at all.

I have 2 black Panda eyes to show for all this,
And a left hand that's twice its normal size,
But I think I ken who caused this all to happen,
And I'm on his trail, no word of any lies!

But I hope I'll be be all mended come this Christmas,
To venture to the tavern full o' cheer,
And find it full of happier Mudcatters
Happy Christmas and a bright and guid New Year.