So there are three possibilities:

1. A hard border (there are currently over two hundred crossing points)

2. We stay in the customs union

3. The EU allows a fudge

It's seems clear to me that the government is living in eternal hope of the latter. A hard border would be a disaster. Almost everyone agrees on that. The government has already completely caved in on one of the three sticking points in the negotiations, so staying in the customs union/single market, with all the implications for continuing free movement (as we've seen in the net migration figures, the leave team forgot that you can stop free movement in one direction only), would be seen as a disastrous climbdown (though it would actually be the only favourable outcome of this shambles). But the EU is determined not to allow an exception. The other 27 are watching like hawks to ensure that rules are not broken. That's the only way of holding such a massive and ungainly cooperative together. Special relationships and special circumstances don't add up to a hill of beans. I should think that almost every member state can claim a bit of that specialness, one way or another.