This is how I hear it:


TALKING BLUES
As recorded by Chris Bouchillon, 1926.

If you want to get to heaven, let me tell you how to do [it]:
Grease your feet with a little mutton suet.
Stand right out of the devil's hands,
And slide right over in the promised land.
Go easy.
Make it easy.
Go greasy.

Standin' in the corner by the mantelpiece,
Up in the corner by a bucket of grease,
I greased my feet with a little axle grease,
Went slippin' up an' down that mantelpiece,
Huntin' matches,
Cigarette stubs,
Chewin' tobacco.

Make up the bed, gal; make 'em up nice.
Ol' preacher Johnson gonna be here tonight.
He's a chicken eater.
Loves cake.
Loves the sisters too.

Standin' on the corner, standin' like a man,
Standin' on the corner with a bucket in my hand.
Standin' on the corner with a bucket in my hand,
Waitin' for a sop by the white folks' hand,
'Lasses,
Sweet'nin' 'taters,
Cold biscuits.

Down in the wildwoods sittin' on a log,
My finger on the trigger and my eye on a hog.
I pulled the trigger and the gun said "blip."
Jumped on that hog with all my grip.
Did you scrape him?
Eatin' hog-eye.
Love chit'lin's.

Behind the hen-house the other night,
It was awful dark an' I had no light.
I scrambled 'round; I got a hold of a goose.
The white folks say you gotta turn him a-loose.
Jumped gulleys.
Rode bushes.
Dodged bullets too.

Behind the hen-house on my knees,
I thought I heard a chicken sneeze.
It was only a rooster sayin' his prayers
And a-givin' out the hymns to the hens upstairs,
Just a-preachin',
Hens a-singin',
Rooster's prayin'.

They put me in the jailhouse on my knees.
All they give me was a pan of peas.
The peas was red and the meat was fat.
I got stuck on the jailhouse just for that.
Got frazzy(?).
Impotent.
Wanted to cry.

They ain't no use me a-workin' so hard.
I got a woman in the white folks' yard.
When she'd kill a chicken she'd save me the feet.
She thinks I'm a-workin' but I'm loafin' in the street,
Havin' a good time,
Talkin' about her
To other women.

They ain't no use me a-workin' so hard.
I got a woman in the white folks' yard.
When she'd kill a chicken she'd save me the head.
She thinks I'm a-workin' but I'm lyin' in the bed,
Sleepin',
Havin' a good time,
Dreamin' about 'er.

[I have seen discussions at Mudcat where people refer to this as "The Original Talking Blues"--as if "Original" was part ot the title, but it was not, as you can see from the record label, seen here. Apparently John Greenway gave it the title "Original Talking Blues" when he recorded it in 1958.]