IT WAS SAD WHEN THE PRESIDENT WENT DOWN
Collectively written Internet cybersong (Public Domain)
Tune: THE TITANIC
Rating: NC-17

1. Bill Clinton got elected in 1992,
As he moved into the White House, he dreamed what he would do:
First a puff of dope,
And then a little grope.
It was sad when the President went down.

Chorus (repeat after each stanza):

It was sad, it was sad,
It was sad when the President went down (to the bottom of the...),
As he grabbed one by the thighs,
The Secret Service closed their eyes,
It was sad when the President went down.

2. They say that Mrs. Clinton picked up a rolling pin,
And several times had threatened to do the bastard in,
But each time she spared the louse,
'Cause she loved that big White House,
It was sad when the President went down.

3. Oh, the Clintons threw a party for all their movie pals,
And said "Please bring your checkbook," to all those guys and gals.
"For ten thousand bucks," they said,
"You can screw in Lincoln's bed."
It was sad when the President went down.

4. Linda Tripp said to Lewinsky, "You can trust me, honey.
Is it true like Paula said, Bill's private parts look funny?
Speak louder, Monica dear,
Kenneth Starr he needs to hear."
It was sad when the President went down.

5. Poor old Mike McCurry couldn't handle all the press,
Donaldson and Blitzer were asking 'bout The Dress,
Helen Thomas was relentless,
Cokie Roberts spared no efforts.
It was sad when the President went down.

6. As the Dow approached ten thousand no one gave a hoot,
About all the funny money and all the foreign loot.
"It's the economy!" we were told,
As they took that Asian gold.
It was sad when the President went down.

7. Bill Clinton had an intern and she got down on her knees,
He said, "It is your job your President to please.
But I'll give you nothing finer,
Than a cheroot in your vagina."
It was sad when the President went down.

8. Ken Starr he had a mission to destroy the President,
He checked up on Slick Willy and where Willy's willy went.
It became his life's obsession,
A real life True Confession!
It was sad when the President went down.

9. It started in the White House, but it ended on TV,
Where the public got a play-by-play of promiscuity,
Poor Lewinsky said "I blew it!
There was only one side to it."
It was sad when the President went down.

10. Those moral folks in Congress, they had to make some sense,
Whether what Slick Willy did was an impeachable offense,
Some said, "Sack the horny bum,
We don't want sex in Washington!" (Yeah, sure!)
It was sad when the President went down.

11. Half the Senate said "Let's dump him!" and half said "Set him fee!"
So "Not Guilty" is the verdict that went down in history.
But we pissed a year away,
On the President's B.J.
It was sad when the President went down.

12. We really thought Bill blew it with all those lies and sex,
But first Gingrich and then Livingston -- and maybe Hyde is next.
One by one those pricks have gone,
While Slick Willy's hanging on,
Ain't you glad that our President came back?

New chorus:

Yes we're glad, yes we're glad,
We are glad that our President came back (to the surface of the...),
So he told a lie or two,
But in his place wouldn't you? (I know I would!)
Yes, we're glad that our President came back.

13. We thought the Clinton era was almost past and gone,
But with Hilary's star a-rising, it won't be gone for long,
Forget about Bush and Gore,
It'll be Clinton in oh-four,
We'll be glad when our Presidents come back.

Final chorus:

We'll be glad, yes well be glad,
We'll glad when our Presidents come back (to the surface of the...),
When Hilary gets sworn in,
We'll have good times once again,
We'll be glad when our Presidents come back.