You know what I miss? Telephone canvassers who call me Mrs.

A nice lady from UNICEF called yesterday and made me really mad by struggling to pronounce my name correctly even after I told her not to use it. "We obviously don't know me because you can't pronounce my name. So call me Mrs Thomas; you can manage that, can't you?" I said, but it made no difference. She charged on through her script, filling in several different (but all wrong) versions of my first name in all the slots where she's supposed to say it to reinforce the relationship with the client/donor. Of course, I was more alienated with every repetition of Sharmaine, Champignon, Charlemagne, Champagne ... on and on it went.

Finally, I said, "Look, we're not friends and at this rate we never will be. My first name is for my friends, not strangers like you. Call me Mrs Thomas, or call me nothing. Better still, hang up and never call back."

She was really, really hurt. I did not care.