Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat.
Please don't make a urinal
Of the old man's hat.

If you use it for a urinal
The old man will be mad,
And you can't apologize
By saying "Oops, my bad!"

The old man is a psychopath,
He's been one all along,
He takes a lot of umbrage
If you do him a wrong.

Yes, he takes a lot of umbrage,
Your clothes and money too,
He'll leave you in a snowdrift
With your toes up, turning blue.

         --G. Gestalt von und zu Lummox, Melodien und Lieder unserer gesch?tzten Vorfahren (Kleinblittersdorf and London: Illskaelda and Skreyja, 875).