O, inflammatory Kitten Of Christmas,

    As you sit there purring by an open fire, know that your present will arrive a little late, but should be there by twelfth night. It turned out that your delivery elf spent a few nights in a drunk tank after he left here. It was a few days before we knew, but another elf has picked up the package and is in his way. Poor Elmer lost his 'elf control again and "fell off the sleigh", so we're leaving him there in the hoosegow for the holidays and we'll see if any further disciplinary action has to be taken once he's set free.

    Don't worry, though. Your package should be well worth the wait. Maybe even in gold. I assure you that you'll have a much better Christmas than poor Elmer as he dries out. May YOUR turkey be warm. And may your spirits be bright

Santa Claus