Mutagenic agency is what has caused my wife's five cancers, Amos. The agency was x-rays given to cure her of...poison ivy! That was back in 1950, when that sort of thing was touted for everything from acne to epilepsy. (My mom was terrible: she wouldn't let us see the bones in our feet in the x-ray machine at the shoe store.)

She came through it, and so can you. You wouldn't want to be outdone by a girl, would you?