The informal musical gathering, in all its manifestations, is better not looked at as a performance. Of all these, the open mic is the nearest to such a thing, but in truth is probably more like a rehersal for such a performance. It does however offer the chance to do it exactly as you wish, with an audience, if that is what you want.

The others types of musical informal gatherings offer the opportunity to make music with others and that is the element that makes them special as well as a possible source of intense irritation.

If you wish to involve others in your music making at these gatherings, you risk the possibily that this may mess up your idead of how it should sound, rather than enhancing it. The trick is to accept that the whole event or indeed your turn, is not entirely in your control, to stop trying to control it and just enjoy the ride. Or go home.

There you could play it exactly how you want it, alone in your bedroom.