A FINE ROMANCE
Words, Dorothy Fields; music, Jerome Kern; ©1936.

I. As sung by Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire in the film "Swing Time" (1936) [YouTube]

[Ginger Rogers:]
A fine romance with no kisses.
A fine romance, my friend, this is.
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes,
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes.
A fine romance; you won't nestle.
A fine romance; you won't wrestle.
I've never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants.
I never have the chance.
This is a fine romance.

A fine romance, my good fellow.
You take romance; I'll take Jell-O.
You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean.
At least, they flap their fins to express emotion.
A fine romance with no quarrels,
With no insults and all morals.
You're just as hard to land as the Île-de-France.
I never get the chance.
This is a fine romance.

[Fred Astaire:]
A fine romance with no kisses.
A fine romance, my friend, this is.
True love should have the thrill that a healthy clime has.
We don't have half the thrills that The March of Time has.
A fine romance with no clinches.
A fine romance with no pinches.
You never give the orchids I send a glance.
No, you like cactus plants.
This is a fine romance.

II. As recorded by Fred Astaire, 1936.

A fine romance with no kisses.
A fine romance, my friend, this is.
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes,
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes.
A fine romance; you won't nestle.
A fine romance; you won't wrestle.
You're just as hard to land as the Île-de-France.
I haven't got a chance.
This is a fine romance.

A fine romance, my good woman,
My strong aged-in-the-wood woman.
You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean.
At least, they flap their fins to express emotion.
A fine romance with no clinches.
A fine romance with no pinches.
You never give the orchids I send a glance.
No, you like cactus plants.
This is a fine romance.

Oh, boy what a romance!