Hi, Mom!

I just bought a new van. I like everything about it except the ignition key. The blade is wide and squared off (like this) which makes it totally useless for ear scratching. Do car makers not realize that the traditional pointed car key is the leading choice for aural hygiene among older males? Equipping cars with odd-shaped or electronic keys means more geezers will be driving around with impaired hearing due to ear wax buildup! They'll be dangers to us all! Support highway safety! Bring back good old-fashioned car keys!