Finally, a love song for hoarders--
Verses alternate between male and female singers.


FANCY GOODS
As recorded by Jez Lowe and the Bad Pennies on "Honesty Box" (2002)

The dog is whining hungry but I can't find her
Under glass mountain or a great wall of China.
There's one piece of carpet left; that's right where I'm stood,
Knee deep and sinking in your fancy goods,
Your fancy goods, fancy goods.
I wouldn't touch that stuff for money or blood.
Try it once, you can't leave it alone.
Knickknacks, bric-a-brac, you give it all a home.

The walls are peeling and the ceilings are stained.
There's great big cracks in every windowpane.
I can't get you to knock a nail into wood.
I hide all that behind my fancy goods,
My fancy goods, fancy goods.
I wouldn't part with it for money or blood.
Try it once and you can't leave it alone.
Knickknacks, bric-a-brac, I give it all a home.

I've had enough of all your trinkets and chattels.
I walk the floors at night and the whole house rattles.
You buy them two-by-two like you're expecting floods,
Neck deep and drowning in your fancy goods,
Your fancy goods, fancy goods.
I wouldn't touch that stuff for money or blood.
Try it once and you can't leave it alone.
Knickknacks, bric-a-brac, you give it all a home.

All those guitars and banjos that you keep bringing here,
Old LP records though we've got no record player,
We're deep in dust enough to be planting spuds.
Don't talk to me about my fancy goods,
Fancy goods, fancy goods.
I wouldn't part with it for money or blood.
Try it once and you can't leave it alone.
Knickknacks, bric-a-brac, I give it all a home.

Take one of mine and then I'll take one of yours.
We'll hire a van and hit the charity stores.
Woman's no servant; man is no mouse.
Let's keep it all and find a much bigger house
For our fancy goods, fancy goods.
No one would want this stuff for money or blood.
Try it once and you can't leave it alone.
Knickknacks, bric-a-brac, we give it all a home.