I thought it was Jose Feliciano who said:
"It took me 20 years to learn how to HOLD the guitar"

So, your QUEST is a genuine and honorable path my friend. Now hold it correctly!!

No, seriously watch TINA [Tina S.??] - NO STRAP. Really. Large electric guitar, the biggest I have seen, and NO STRAP. Sitting. She plays 2nd fiddle only to Buckethead as for technique... but she is more musical.

Tina S is your answer.