I confess that i am the anonymous "Guest" immediately above, explaining how one closes a fire.

Here's more, seven years later:

I keep her garden all free from the sand weeds.

should be

I keep her garden all free from bugs and weeds.

(Since her grass and garden refer to her pubic hair, the bugs in this case would be crab lice.)

This remains one of the cleverest double entenre lyrics i have ever heard.