Dear Mom,

In the year 2000, virtually the entire population of the world was plagued by the question, "Who let the dogs out?" It was hard to work in an office. ride a bus, or walk down the street without someone asking "Who let the dogs out?"   Well, after eighteen years of silence on the matter, I have decided to unburden my soul and admit that it was, in fact, I who let them out. All of 'em. Big dogs and little dogs. Dachshunds and Dalmatians. I just opened the doors and let 'em out!

There, I feel much better now.