Spaw, there is no waiter at La Mezzaluna named Ron!!! In fact there is no waiter at all there...but several very attractive waitresses with tresses to be proud of. It's your lousy luck that you are wasting away in Ohio, slowly perishing in the miasma of your own vile bodily essences, when you could be relaxing in the lovely surroundings of La Mezzaluna.

You're right about the oddities and hobbies, however, we have many, and have not admitted to all of them by any means as yet. Stay tuned.

Art - An Orillian is a proud resident of Orillia, the community from which Gordon Lightfoot "sprang", if I may use that term. It makes Buffalo, New York look like a hole. Of course, most places do... (Grin!) It's in Ontario, Canada.

Hesperis - Spahgetti duel is it? Okay, but I refuse to award the victory to the one who eats slowest this time, because I would definitely lose. We'll have to see about new conditions.

Back to Spaw - Dear friend and esteemed colleague, you will be delighted to know that as I walked into the local Sunoco station yeserday to pay my bill I heard wafting over the speakers the familiar strains of "Ground control to Major Tom..."

I knew at that moment the calm satisfaction that comes to one living in, dare I say it, a superior civilization, a civilization that frowns upon public displays of flatulence and phalluses longer than the owner's forearm being dangled over bridges into formerly pristine waterways, a civilization that has the good taste and decency to forbear from using the seven common mundane curses, except when they are fully justified by extremely vexing circumstances...indeed...a civilization we call CANADA. Yes, CANADA, home of the Tim Horton's Donut Shop, Red Rose Tea, Resdan, the Maple Leaf flag and all the other things that really make life worthwhile, tidy, and decent.

"Ground control to Major Tom..."

Ahhhhh....

Beautiful, just beautiful...isn't it?

- LH