If there's a "Pope" song thread I couldn't find it:

Which One's the Pope?
(To the tune of Istanbul/Not Constantinople)
The Meddling Catholics

Benedict he was the Pope.
Now he's retired
and Frankie's the Pope.
They both live in Rome
and answer to “Pope.”
They both dress in white.
Something's not quite right.

When the mail comes in
it's addressed to the Pope.
They both raise their hands
for the envelope.
It seems we're sliding
down a slippery slope.
There simply cannot be two Popes!

Benedict was old, so he said he must step down.
Five years later, he's still kickin'.
Drinkin' beer & eatin' fried chicken.

Tell me again,
which one is the Pope?
Surely not the Jesuit.
He is a dope.
He covers up the priests
who fancy a grope.

He was raised to the chair by evil men.
From a little mafia called “St. Gallen.”

I'm still confused.
Which one is the Pope?
You say: “It doesn't really matter.”
I say: “Nope!”
There was a reason Jesus gave us a Pope.
To keep out heresy, not ask it in for tea.

When Cardinals come
to visit the Pope.
The Pope takes them by
to visit the Pope.
Pope Ben says:
“Frankie's my kind of Pope.”
It's like a papal kaleidescope.

Frankie seems so nice a Latino teddy bear.
But when you wipe away that pig's lipstick,
he's a ruthless, two-bit heretic!

Tell me again,
which one is the Pope?
When you ask Benny if it's him,
He says: “Nope.”
But still he clings to a spurious hope
That two men can simultaneously
exercise the Petrine Ministry.

Which one's the Pope?

The Meddling Catholics