This song is on the flip-side of AIN'T IT A BEAUTY. You can hear it at the The Internet Archive

THE GREATEST BROAD-JUMPER
(Ferré-McIntyre)
As recorded by Cliff Ferré with Mark McIntyre Quartet on a 78-rpm record, date unknown, Kem Records #128.

I've never been a swimmer or a horseman of renown.
I'm not a fancy fighter; couldn't win a boxing crown;
But I am just adored by women short an' tall,
'Cause I'm the greatest broad-jumper of 'em all.

I couldn't run as fast as any other kid in school,
And when I did a high-dive, it would empty out the pool,
But ev'ry gal I know is at my beck and call,
'Cause I'm the greatest broad-jumper of 'em all.

Oh, what a jumper!
And I don't mean maybe.
Oh, what a jumper!
I've been broad-jumpin' since I was a baby.

I joined a nudist track meet and when my turn came around,
Right from a standing start I covered thirty feet of ground.
I gathered from the way the ladies turned to stare
I was the greatest—

One evening in a garden with another fellow's wife,
She said: "My husband's coming, so start running for your life."
She held him back while I went leapin' through the air.
I'm still the greatest broad-jumper anywhere.

Oh, what a jumper!
I'm a real cham-pion.
Oh, what a jumper!
All the gals can't believe what they are seein'.

I've never been selected for an all-Olympic team,
But in a broad-jump contest I am always on the beam,
And once I even won the title sittin' down,
'Cause I'm the greatest broad-jumper that's around.

I've done it for an audience till I was stiff and sore,
And when I'd had enough, the ladies always yelled for more.
I finally decided it should be my trade.
Now I'm the only broad-jumper gettin' paid.

Oh, what a jumper!
I was young in startin'.
Oh, what a jumper!
I can broad-jump much farther when I'm sober.

Today was my farewell performance over in the park.
I had a hundred women lyin' forty feet apart.
I started with the first and jumped 'em one by one,
And now my broad-jumpin' days are done!