Ah, our next-door-neighbours' lovely cat Alfie is like that Jon. He's a long-haired ginger chap (cat, not neighbour!) and if I'm on my famous bench, he'll appear from nowhere, crash against my legs in greeting without even looking at me and saunter off to sit quite far away. It's as if he's saying, "Oh. Hi. But don't stroke me." He's even like that with his owners.

Ours are so touchy-feely, they wind themselves around us, rub their little faces against ours, jump on our laps and poke us on the nose with their little paws, making all kinds of chirpy cat talk. We're always covered in cat hairs from head to toe. My poor husband's cleaner's uniform is black, and he's forever wielding the sticky roller to try and make himself presentable for work!