if you never listen to other people, and take in the way they express themselves. you will never understand any other point of view than your own.

I agree with that 100%. As I have said over on the Brexit thread, I am happy to talk to anyone as long as they appear to be making a serious attempt to understand other's remarks. And to stress, understanding is not the same as agreeing.

But being passionate about a point of view should never blind us to the fact that other people can have a passionate point of view of their own that is different. If it does, we get into a row where one view tries to batter the other into submission, which never works, often turns into abuse and ultimately thread closures.

So if we do want to "understand", rather than "win arguments", we need to let other people have their say without feeling the need to attach everything they say, and trust to the intelligence of third parties to judge who has the better case.

There are cases where you have to take a stronger position, but they all happen in real life, not in forums.