The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #21034   Message #3930002
Posted By: Joe Offer
09-Jun-18 - 03:36 PM
Thread Name: ADD: I don't care if it rains or freezes
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I don't care if it rains or freezes
Thanks, Phil -
Yes, yesterday was the Feast of the Sacred Heart. I meant to say something to you all about that, but I was out having fun making music and playing Scrabble with one of my favorite nuns. The Sisters and I celebrated the feastday with taco salad. My Scrabble opponent started to tell a joke about Trump, but the other sisters cautioned her that they had agreed not to talk politics in the dining room because a recent anti-Trump joke had caused a conservative visitor to leave in dismay. But of course, the Sisters are free to tell their Trump jokes in other places. My friend, not to be impeded, went on to tell the joke about "this guy" who wanted to pardon Mohammed Ali....

I'm a volunteer driver for the Sisters, taking them to stores and doctor visits and such. The Sisters don't have Plastic Jesuses in their cars, but they always say a string of prayers every time I start driving. This tends to make me think they don't really trust my driving...

Now, I'm never had a Plastic Jesus of my own, but I did acquire one for Bill Sables some years ago. At the time, I went to the Sacred Heart Auto League, and I had my choice of TWO Plastic Jesuses. One was the traditional hand-painted plastic statue with the flowing red robe and the anatomically-correct heart encircled with thorns and with flames coming out the top. The other was unpainted, glow-in-the-dark ivory. I chose the red-robed Jesus for Bill because it's the traditional Sacred Heart Auto League depiction, and authenticity is essential when choosing props for folk performances.

But I went to the Official Sacred Heart Auto League Store today and alas, I could find no Plastic Jesuses. I think that the Sacred Heart Auto League (SHAL) finally figured out that Plastic Jesus obstructs the driver's vision, and thus constitutes a traffic hazard. And it may be that the SHAL finally figured out that most people buying Plastic Jesuses nowadays are folk musicians seeking props to illustrate the song.

So, Friendly Folkies, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it appears that Plastic Jesus is dead. You can still get holy cards and stickers and crosses and keychains, but you have forever missed the thrill of driving with Jesus right there at your side, blocking your vision of that pedestrian.......Watch Out!!!!


Update: while in the interest of safety, the Sacred Heart Auto League has discontinued the sale of Jesus statues, they are still available at W.J.Hirten of Massachusetts...
All is not lost.