And here's the original... :-)

The Re-Enactor – Dan Leighton
Written at Kentwell Hall 1588 (1997) - Dedicated to re-enactors everywhere, everywhen!

To the tune of One Misty Moisty Morning - but with more welly.

D                      F#/D             G                A
O I am a re-enactor you can tell it by my hair
D                                     F#/D                      G                            Am
It’s not been brushed for many a month, nor combed for many a year
D                                 F#/D            G                A
It’s a cuckoo’s nest, a foxes den, a badgers set you see
D                      F#/D             G          A         D
Is it any bloody wonder nobody’s employing me

Chorus
O I am a re-enactor and I have a certain class
I fight and drink and swear a lot and talk out of my arse
In the year [insert year hear in a way that scans…], you will not be finding me
Cos I’m far too busy drinking in another century

O I am a re-enactor you can tell it by my car
It goes alright from A to B but mainly to the bar
It’s a clapped out Ford Cortina with loads of room inside
To fill with all the junk I have and the kitchen sink besides

O I am a re-enactor you can tell it by my baccy
It’s not the normal stuff you see, in fact it’s rather wacky
Cos I smoke it, and I toke it, and I hold it in for hours
I find it gives me extra oomph and supernatural powers

O I am a re-enactor you can tell it by my clothes
I like to swank and swagger, I like to strike a pose
When the Velcro isn’t showing, it looks good from afar
And it helps me pull the totty when I’m hanging out in bars

O I am a re-enactor you can tell it by my sword
I made it from a beer can one day when I was bored
It’ll slice your bloody fingers off, but that’s alright you see
Cos I never fight with anyone cos they’re not as good as me

O I am a re-enactor, you can tell it by my wife
We haven't shared a weekend for two thirds of our life
Cos she sits around at home you see and fixes up my kit
While I'm shagging other peoples wives and acting like a shit

O I am a re-enactor, you can tell it by my bowels
The only way to plug my arse is with extra king size towels
I've spent half my life in portaloos with my head down in the sludge
Trying to shift ten pounds of compacted burger fudge

O I am a re-enactor, you can tell it by my drink
About anything but Real Ale I would not even think
With the obvious exception of whisky, rum and gin
And vodka, wine or brandy if the landlord has them in