I'M GLAD I'M NOT YOUNG ANYMORE
Words by Alan Jay Lerner, music by Frederick Loewe.
From the film "Gigi" (1958)
As recorded by Maurice Chevalier

Poor boy, poor boy!
Downhearted and depressed and in a spin—
Poor boy, poor boy!
Oh, youth can really do a fellow in.

How lovely to sit here in the shade
With none of the woes of man and maid!
I'm glad I'm not young anymore.
The rivals that don't exist at all,
The feeling you're only two feet tall—
I'm glad that I'm not young anymore.
No more confusion; no morning-after surprise,
No self-delusion that when you're telling those lies
She isn't wise;
And even if love comes through the door,
The kind that goes on forevermore,
Forevermore is shorter than before.
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore!

The tiny remark that tortures you,
The fear that your friends won't like her too—
I'm glad I'm not young anymore.
The longing to end the stale affair
Until you find out she doesn't care—
I'm glad that I'm not young anymore.
No more frustration; no star-crossed lover am I.
No aggravation, just one reluctant reply:
"Lady, goodbye!"
The fountain of youth is dull as paint.
Methuselah is my patron saint.
I've never been so comfortable before.
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore!