My next-door neighbour in our last village was a Mrs Malaprop too. She always referred to 'sustifficates' for certificates (a very common Norfolk pronunciation), being 'bronical' and having 'various veins'.

She also tried a bit of Latin and often advised one to leave something 'in stitt-you', which I found the funniest of all.

If I giggled, she used to give me an old-fashioned look, and say, "Yew moit ha'bin ejuca'ed, but yew hent got a lot a' sense hev yew?" She was right - she was always getting me out of scrapes!