Maybe leeneia should learn those "ways of responding that do not involve abuse". This gives some idea of what my neighbour has been going through:

https://www.blbchronicpain.co.uk/news/crps-chronic-pain-suicide/

IMAGINE FEELING LIKE THAT. And imagine being on the receiving end of the crashing brutal insensitivity of a response like leeneia's. It's utterly unacceptable.