Prepacked cheddar cheese is still good at least six months past its use-by date. I recommend Wookey Hole cave-aged. You can even freeze it. Creme fraiche will keep for months unopened. For two people, mix a good-quality jar of tuna in olive oil (drained) (keeps for at least four years) with five dessertspoons of creme fraiche, a handful of capers (which keep for years unopened) some salt (keeps for hundreds of millions of years), freshly-ground pepper (two years), a chopped clove of garlic and a handful of chopped fresh parsley (you should be growing the garlic and parsley yourself). Mix it all together then boil 250g of short pasta (keeps for two or three years). Salty water of course. Drain the pasta retaining a bit of the cooking water. Add to the tuna mix and stir it altogether with a bit of pasta water. Grate Parmesan on top (keeps for six months, longer if unwrapped). There. Not a stockpiled tin in sight.