The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #131425   Message #3943073
Posted By: FreddyHeadey
11-Aug-18 - 07:23 AM
Thread Name: Sick note / Paddy's not at work today
Subject: RE: Sick note / Paddy's not at work today
from the Hoffnung video

I've got this thing here that I must read to you.
Now, this is a very tragic thing... I shouldn't, really, read it out. 
A striking lesson in keeping the upper lip stiff is given in a recent number of the weekly bulletin of 'The Federation of Civil Engineering Contractors' that prints the following letter from a bricklayer in Golders Green to the firm for whom he works.

Respected sir,

when I got to the top of the building, I found that the hurricane had knocked some bricks off the top.
So I rigged up a beam, with a pulley, at the top of the building and hoisted up a couple of barrels full of bricks.
When I had fixed the building, there was a lot of bricks left over. ...
I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at the bottom and then went up (listen)and filled the barrel with the extra bricks.
Then, I went to the bottom and cast off the line....
the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was ...
and before I knew what was happening, the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground.
I decided to hang on! ...
and halfway up, I met the barrel coming down...
and received a severe blow
on the shoulder. ... ...
I then
continued to the top,
banging my head against the beam
and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley! ...
When the barrel hit the ground, it bursted it's bottom... allowing all the bricks ...
to spill out.
I was now heavier than the barrel ...
and so started down again
at high speed!
Halfway down...
I met the barrel coming up
and received severe injury
to my shins!
When I hit the ground... I landed on the bricks,
getting several painful cuts from the sharp edges!
At this point... I must have lost my presence of mind...
because I let go the line!
The barrel ...
the barrel, the barrel then came down... giving me another heavy blow
and putting me in hospital!

I respectfully request 'sick leave'.