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(To the tune of "If I Only Had a Brain")

A HOSER BOY NAMED SHANE

Oh, he lives up in Blind River
Where he petrifies his liver
And marinates his brain
His hygiene is not the cleanest
And he has a tiny penis
He's a hoser boy named Shane

He's a doper and a boozer
A moron and a loser
A certified shit-stain
When he last bathed there's no telling
And his feet are awful smelling
He's a hoser boy named Shane

Oh, he can tell you how to get to the liquor store
And where there are some pills that you can score
Or anything
Else you'd care for

He is an abomination
Who porn and masturbation
Have driven quite insane
And we cannot get rid of him
Though nobody seems to love him
He's a hoser boy named Shane


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