Joe, I rather like the name Jerry Brain.

We've had some men coming round the village offering a 'free roof-check'. We have a sticker at the door which says 'We don't buy anything at the door' etc. The chap was wearing a hi-viz jacket with the word FREE ROOF CHECK emblazoned on it, and he silently pointed to the word 'FREE'.
I don't him not to be so blooming daft. He was obviously trying to sell something. No doubt some sort of anti-moss roof treatment or some such.
He started up with more spiel so I'm afraid I told him to bugger off and shut the door a bit firmly.

If husband is at home, he opens the door and glares at the person. He can be terrifying - they don't expect an African with huge muscles. But on this occasion he was out.