The "roof check" thing is nastier than you know, Senoufou - it's common for supposed roof menders go up on the roof, break a few slates/tiles, then come down and tell you your roof needs mending and cheat you out of money.

Here, they say "I'm doing a bit of work for your neighbour and I noticed you had a couple of broken tiles up there…" To which I ask "Which neighbour?" "Oh, the fellow over there." "What number? What's his name?" and their enthusiasm visibly dies away.

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The wire transfer scam is being used in Ireland in a particularly nasty way. Due to the incompetence and capitalism-worship of our current government we're in the middle of another housing crisis, because the banks are allowed to sell vast numbers of defaulting home loans to vulture companies. These then rent the homes out at monstrously increased and still-increasing rates. Both rents and home - or "property" as it's tellingly referred to - prices are skyrocketing.

So as students prepare to find flats for their next year, advertisers offer flats and ask for several thousand euros to be transferred to their account "because the landlord lives abroad" or "is abroad at the moment". When the would-be renter arrives at the door, either the keys provided don't fit or the address doesn't exist. The supposed owner has of course disappeared and the real owner can't do anything.