It happened that last night a wildfire came into town (without even knocking!) and threatened the Legion Hovel. First the place filled with smoke but since it's always filled with smoke (bad flue, bad kitchen practices) nobody noticed. When the bottles behind the bar started to explode people DID notice. Fats Slim was so impressed that he ordered "a pitcher of whatever's in them there bottles". The door suddenly flew open and Jake ran in yelling, "Fire! It's all around us!" and some of the boys and girls ran for marshmallows. Most, however, glanced out the door and windows and saw the flames. They immediately sprang into action, throwing their drinks on the fire and that, of course, only caused more fire. Then the fire extinguishers were used to no avail. Finally someone remembered the old cistern under the building and they started dropping hoses down the access hatch and hooking them up to hand pumps. The nozzles were played over the base of the flames and they roared higher that ever! It seems like back during what is called "The Terrible Awful Time" in the Legion and Prohibition by everyone else the 12,500 gallon underground tank had be filled with high proof "stuff" and it was feeding the fire rather than quelling it! The Hovel was in danger, as the sprinkler system is fed from the cistern! But the Luck of the Legion held, as the liquor being sprayed created a zone of no fuel and the fire burned itself out with only very minor damage to the Hovel and its grounds.

The same cannot be said of the Legionnaires, most of whom were found sucking up the runoff in the gutters with straws. As a side note, the Legion Hovel is doing away with plastic straws on September 1 -- not only will the supply be exhausted by then, but also they will be replaced with what has been called by the Council of Elders and Suchlike "a nice surprise." Speculation is rampant.