The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #30670   Message #395004
Posted By: wysiwyg
10-Feb-01 - 11:44 AM
Thread Name: How can I establish a good relations?
Subject: RE: How can I establish a good relations?
Congratulations for taking responsibility by asking what YOU can do, since whether these people behaved well or badly, all you can control is your own end of this.

This would be one approach:

Go to each one privately (or take an opportunity that presents itself one on one), and let them know this is all new and somewhat confusing for you, but that you'd like to have a good relationship and learn from them as much as you can. Acknowledge that you feel you may have gotten off on the wrong foot and repeat that you would like to have a good relationship with them. Then listen carefully and acceptingly to what they say, thank them for talking with you, and spend some time reflecting. After you have thought it over, incorporate your best sense of what needs to happen, in your interactions with them. The ones worth being mentored by will respond positively to this. The others may not, but you will have acted honorably by taking responsibility for your end of this interaction.

If this feels like the wrong way for you to proceed, then ask yourself how you would like someone to handle a similar situation with you-- if you were the more expert person involved and they were the newcomer-- and try that.

~S~