O’Rafferty’s pig was a wondrous animal
Built like a battleship solid and stout,
His ignorance would have disgraced any cannibal
Impudence written all over his snout.
The night he broke loose there was such a commotion
The women were screaming and men turning pale,
Running and jumping colliding and bumping
And everyone making a grab at his tail.

Micky Malone the heavyweight champion ran at the pig with a big rolling pin,
Struck it a blow, caught Mrs Monroe and shifted her bustle right under her chin.
Widow Malone fell through a shop window
In pickles and and jam and red herrings she lay
She’d eggs and tomatoes all over her garters,
The night that O’Rafferty’s pig ran away.

It ran in the police court and looked at each visitor
Swallowed the Bible, the judge infra dig
Said ‘Postpone the case.’ but the local solicitor
Said ‘Let the witnesses all kiss the pig.’
The pig looked at Riley the principal witness
Then ran in the grocers next door to McCann's
Rolled in the butter then dashed in the gutter
And that’s how he kept slipping out of their hands.

Fat Mrs Doyle she ran like an elephant
Puffing and blowing with Mrs McGuire,
Fell on the ground and begorra the sound
Was just like the burst of a pneumatic tyre.
Flanagan got the pig in a corner
He jumped on its back and ran into a dray,
At twenty to seven his home was in heaven
The night that O’Rafferty’s pig ran away.

A bloodthirsty crowd headed by Denny Cassidy
Chased it with vengeance from Derry to Cork
And didn’t they swear when the pig with audacity
Jumped on a tram and and stood watching them walk.
It ran through the legs of old Councillor Duffy
A man of great standing and lofty ideals
When they collided old Duffy backslided
And down went the standing of twenty-five years.

Burke’s wooden leg was broken and shattered
He lay on his back shouting Doctor Lamont
Barney O’Toole said ‘Don't be a fool,
It’s a hammer and saw and a joiner you want.’
Then came the news the pig had been captured
The town had a thanksgiving supper they say
Of cabbage and bacon unlawfully taken,
The night that O’Rafferty’s pig ran away.