I was wrong about Bird's custard being for people who are too lazy to use milk and eggs. Apparently it was invented in 1837 by Alfred Bird because his wife was allergic to eggs.
My mother always bought Pearce Duff's custard powder instead of Bird's, and Rowntree's cocoa instead of Cadbury's - she said they tasted better (but it might have been because they came from Yorkshire instead of Birmingham).
I never could abide that smoo-ooth ice cream squirted out of a tube. It reminded me of Brylcream. I like a bit of texture in my ice cream, but yes, Kelley's is OK.