I found a partial answer here: https://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110417094326AAOvQwX

The singer is Vera Aspey - Maypole Inn

Album is called The Blackbird (I think she sounds very Irish)

This is what I understand...

While seated in the parlour of the Maypole Inn...
Old Uncle Joe got up and shouted with a grin
I'm 83 today my lad so have a drink with me
I've lived my life with the girls so have some gayity
And then no grumpy 60's lemonade then said
You're only 83 today and what a life you've lead
I'd like to live to 99
Gool ol' 99
Wouldn't it be fine?
I've always lived the good man's life

Never drunk
Never smoked
Never had a wife
Oh see, said mister 83
You say the drinks and smokes you'd never paying for
And never even longed to squeezed a--------- lump of .----------------
What do you want to live till 99 for?

Vera Aspey - The Blackbird