'Alf a spud? Eeee, that wer ower dinner fer a week that wer.

My two friends (both called Susan) and I actually wrote a 'newspaper' each week when we were at grammar school. We laboriously copied it out by hand and did about twenty copies between us.
It was called The Atomic Brain. It had a regular column about The Rubber Girl (no idea, so don't ask me!) and the weekly doings of a remote tribe called the Zekowba Chua.

I so wish I'd kept some of these.