It's been bad lately. My dad's died, Keith's died, it's late November (the two dirtiest words in the English language) and we are enduring brexit. Lowness has never been this low.

So, you know how you occasionally read a newspaper headline that's so outrageous that it would spoil your fun to read on? Well beat this. In today's Guardian magazine there's a headline wot sez I performed the world's first penis and scrotum transplant. The sub-headline sez It was tough to find a donor...

There's a whole article in there to follow that, but I couldn't read another word. To do so would ruin the pure beauty of that beginning. I absolutely needed no more.

God forgive me...