The alcoholic one was done by Bill Barclay - "a wee heavy and a half pint" being the final line, and each verse sounding progressively more drunk. It's on the Greentrax "Bah Humbug" CD which has many other parodies and "alternative" Christmas songs.

Then there was the McCalmans' own version, last line being "a worn-out McCalmans' LP".

Think I have lyrics for both somewhere. Will post if I can find them.