This is recited with piano accompaniment. You can hear it at YouTube.


THE LONDONER AND THE HUN
As recorded by Mr. Flotsam & Mr Jetsam, 1940.

“You’ll have noticed,” said the Hun, “what we’ve been and gone and done
To the highways and the byways of your town.
And it’s nothing,” said the Hun, “to the fusillade of fun
That the Fuehrer’s got the mind to send you down.
Aren’t you staggered? Aren’t you cowed? Aren’t you praying out aloud?
Aren’t you dreading ev’ry setting of the sun?
Aren’t you weary of blaspheming at the bombs that come a-screaming?
Don’t you wish that you were dreaming?” said the Hun.

“Shut your big blue-pencil mouth,” said the Londoner.
“There’s a channel to the south,” said the Londoner,
“That the bully who’s your boss doesn’t dare attempt to cross,
So the nasty-minded cuss thinks he’ll take it out of us,
But he’d better think again,” said the Londoner.
“We can stand a lot of pain,” said the Londoner.
“We’re not dumb Teutonic mutts; we’ve the guns and we’ve the guts.
You can tell Adolf he’s nuts,” said the Londoner.

“You’re forgetting,” said the Hun, “that your streets are overrun
By the hungry and the homeless and the halt;
Not to mention,” said the Hun, “that your buildings by the ton
Are succumbing to our aerial assault;
And the palace of your king has a badly crippled wing.
Crazy cockney, now the blitzkrieg has begun,
It’s your diet for duration; why the stubborn hesitation?
What about capitulation?” said the Hun.

“Why, you nasty Nazi nark,” said the Londoner.
“How you miss the ruddy mark,” said the Londoner.
“All the deeds of which you’re proud are but stitches in your shroud.
Ev’ry little child you slay is a crime for which you’ll pay.
Vent your sanguinary spleen,” said the Londoner.
“God will save our king and queen,” said the Londoner,
“And, you vile Pygmalion simp, with his aid we’ll put a crimp
In that paper-hanging pimp,” said the Londoner.