The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #165342 Message #3966236
Posted By: Jim Carroll
14-Dec-18 - 09:20 AM
Thread Name: BS: What makes you laugh
Subject: RE: BS: What makes you laugh
Now I'm getting on in years I find myself being drawn to humour I have avoided in the past for fear I might give offense
I always expected to have hearing difficulties - a condition passed on by the male members of my father's family - recently it has become a serious problem, and to cope, I have had to find the lighter side of it.
I was once told about a Liverpool hearing aid - you hang a wire over your ear and everybody shouts
Did you know that Beethoven was so deaf he thought he was a painter (Liverpool again)
A couple getting on in years went to the hospital to have the woman's fourteenth child delivered
The doctor took the woman aside and said, "You really need to think about stopping having children at your time of life Mary"
She replied, "I realise that doctor, it's because of my poor hearing" that we have so many"
"How do you mean?"
"Well, each night when we go to bed Tommy has got into the habit of asking me, "Shall we go to sleep or what?"
"I always reply "what?".
A young barman got a job in a pub next to a Day Centre for people with hearing and speech difficulties
Before he started, the Guv'nor took him aside and ran him through the prices and also taught him the rudiments of sign-language so he could communicate with the customers
Very nervously he started work, but by mid-shift he was serving like a veteran - he had taken to signing as if it was a second language - he was proud that he never one mistook an order
At closing time he went into the bar only to find that all the customers were sitting in total silence, swinging their hands up to shoulder level and down to their knees in perfect rhythm
Bemused , he went into the lounge, only to find that everybody there was doing exactly the same thing
Panicking, he sought out the Guv'nor and told him what was taking place
"Shit - we'll never empty the pub now they've started singing"
Sorry 'bout that