The "Beetle Bomb"thread started me thinking about Spike Jones. One of my aunts had the following song on a 78 rpm record in the 1950's. I loved it, even though I didn't have a clue in those days what opera was like. I insisted she play it whenever I visited her. I even memorized it and ALMOST could have written it out even now, but instead I pieced this together from a website I found and added some notes.

If anyone else knows some Spike Jones songs, I hope you will post them here.

PAL-YAT-CHEE
(Spike Jones, Eddie Maxwell)

[Note: Lines in quotes are sung by an operatic basso; other lines are sung by Homer & Jethro.]

When we was in the city we was a-wond'rin' where to go.
A sign spelled out Pal-Yat-Chee* up in lights above a show.
We thought 'twould be a western till the stage lit up with lights,
An' ninety-seven people sung without a horse in sight.
We couldn't understand 'em 'cause they spoke a foreign tongue,
But we can give you some idea of what we think they sung:

"Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto!*"

[Note: Following lines are in the style of a recitative.]

All at once there's a fat guy in a clown suit.
'Tain't Haller-ween, that's fer shore.
Then this here feller, this Punchy Neller*,
Begins to beller like we all was deef:

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

That was Pal-Yat-Chee an' he sung:

[Note: Following 3 verses are sung roughly to the tune of "Vesti la giubba" but much faster.]

Invest in a tuba* an' somethin' or other 'bout Cuba.
He sung about a lady who weighed two hundred and eighty.
When she takes a powder, he just starts chirpin' louder,
And he don't do a gol-durn thing 'cept to stand up there an' sing.

When we listen to Pal-Yat-Chee, we get itchy an' scratchy.
This shore is top corn so we go and buy some popcorn.
We hate to go back but we can't get our dough back.
Ain't no use complainin' 'cause outside it's a-rainin'.

Seven hours later, we're still in the durn theater,
Takin' turns a-nappin', waitin' for somethin' to happen.
Pal-Yat-Chee he ain't hurryin' but the folks on stage are flurryin'
And it sounds like Khachaturian's* Sabre Dance*:

[Note: Following 2 verses are sung roughly to the tune of "Sabre Dance."]

When ol' Pal-Yat-Chee finds a guy who's sneakin',
Cheek-to-cheekin' with his wife, he grabs a knife
And stabs the louse who stole his spouse
An' then he stabs the lady and himself.
'Tain't very sanitary.

They all collapse but ol' Pal-Yat-Chee sets up
Then he gets up, sings "I'm dyin',
I am dyin', I am dyin'."We start cryin'
'Cause to tell the truth we're dyin' too.

As the footlights fade out we see Pal-Yat-Chee laid out
But the dagger never caused it. Pal-Yat-Chee was plumb exhausted.

"Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore in-[belch]"

[As sung by Homer & Jethro (Homer Haynes and Jethro Burns) with Spike Jones and his City Slickers.
*Pal-Yat-Chee = I Pagliacci, opera (1892) by Ruggiero Leoncavallo,
"Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto!" = Laugh, Pagliaccio, for your love is torn asunder!;
Punchy Neller = Punchinello, one of the stock characters in traditional Italian comedy;
Invest in a tuba = Vesti la giubba (put on the costume), the most famous aria from I Pagliacci;
Aram Khachaturian, Russian composer (1903-78);
Sabre Dance, from the ballet Gayané (1942).]