Maybe this isn’t the song that was requested, but this seems as good a place as any to post this:

You can see the sheet music at The New York Public Library website. You can hear Frank Crumit sing this song at The Internet Archive.


SWEET ALICE
(Frank Crumit)

1. Just a slip of a girl with a bit of a curl,
She whispered sweet words in my ear.
How it happened I know not; my heart’s in a bow-knot.
I’ve been asking her year after year.
Her first name is Alice; she lives down in Dallas.
She said she would marry me.

CHORUS
So I’ll build a cot for sweet Alice,
A dear little place by the sea.
’Twill seem like a palace to me and my Alice,
No matter how small it may be;
And no one would bear any malice
If they could get one look at Alice,
And I know my Alice won’t hate to leave Dallas
To live in my palace with me.

2. When she answered me “Yes!” why, you never can guess
What happened right here in my chest.
My heart started jumping and bumping and thumping.
I thought it would burst from my vest.
My heart’s in a whirl o’er this slip of a girl,
For she said she would marry me.

CHORUS
Can you picture me and my Alice
At home in our place by the sea?
I know down in Dallas they’ll hate to lose Alice,
But just think how happy we’ll be!
On each of my knees there’s a callus.
It’s caused by proposing to Alice.
Never was such a pal as my Alice; no gal is
As fit for a palace as she.

[Crumit sings the following fragment after an instrumental break, but it is not included in the sheet music. The tune corresponds to the last 4 lines of the chorus.]

Now maybe they’ll drink from a chalice
Good luck to me and my Alice,
For under my gallus my heart beats for Dallas
Who gave my sweet Alice to me.


From the Ziegfeld Follies of 1923.
Words and music by Frank Crumit.