Lyrics below are from the sheet music at York University:


GO ’LONG, MULE
Words and music by Henry Creamer and Robert King, ©1924.

1. I’ve got a mule; he’s such a fool; he never pays no heed.
I built a fire ’neath his tail and then he showed some speed.

CHORUS: Go ’long, mule; don’t you roll dem eyes,
You can change a fool but a dawgone mule is a mule until he dies.

HEE HAW DANCE Sing in imitation of a Kazoo:
Tee tee teety tee. Tee tee teety tee. Tee tee tee tee.
Tee tee teety tee. Tee tee teety tee. Tee tee tee tee.

2. I drove down to the graveyard once, some peaceful rest to find,
But when a black cat crossed my path, I sure did change my mind. CHORUS

Extra Verses
Repeat Chorus after each

3. My gal’s old man don’t like me much; he’s got a heart of flint.
Last night I saw him buy a gun and I can take a hint.

4. I bought some biscuits for my dog and put them on the shelf.
Times got so hard I shot the dog and ate them up myself.

5. Both Rufus Akes and Rastus Payne got married down in Gaines,
And now they say the Georgia woods are full of Akes and Paynes.

6. A cowslip ain’t no kind of slip to slip upon a cow.
That why a catfish never answers to a cat’s meow.

7. A man in Georgia pulled a gun and took a shot at me.
Just as he took the second shot, I passed through Tennessee.

8. Bill Jones was taken ill while calling on his gal Salome.
What really caused his illness was her husband who came home.

9. They say someone’s been stealin’ things; it’s kinder newsed around.
I swear I don’t know who it is, but I am leaving town.

10. I’m goin’ to the river now to lay me down and die,
And if I in the water’s wet, I’ll wait until it’s dry.

11. My gal invited me to dine; I went prepared to eat,
But all she placed upon my plate was chicken necks and feet.

12. They’re gwine to hold a meeting there of some society.
There’s ’leven sheets upon the line; that’s ten too much for me.

13. My mule has such a dawgone rep, they call him Kickin’ Jim.
One day a bee lit on his knee and put a kick in him.

14. I strutted at the Barber’s Ball one night till half past three.
The shooting started and I said: “This is no place for me.”

15. Old lazy Henry found a hen; don’t know whose hen he found.
Each day the good hen laid a egg and Henry laid around.

16. The more you wait, the more you’ll hear the old folks all declare
Today I heard that Liza Green wore cotton underwear.

17. I thought I’d steal some home brew from our cellar in a cup.
As I sneaked down the stairs I met my old man sneakin’ up.

18. My Uncle Ben said children filled his yearning heart with pride.
He wed a widow with twelve kids; I hope he’s satisfied.

19. For ten years my old man ain’t spoke, ’cause Ma called him a liar,
But they went out together last night when our house caught afire.

20. They say here lies the last remains of Brother Snowball Thorn.
Although he led a quiet life, he didn’t hear the horn.

21. Old Brother Stout has just stepped out to rob a chicken coop.
When he returns he’ll find the sheriff waiting on the stoop.

22. My mule refused to work for me; I found the cause of that.
He learned I was Republican and he’s a Democrat.

23. A sardine is a little fish and hasn’t any hands,
And I would like to know how do they get into those cans.

24. Our cat fooled with Ma’s knitting bag and swallowed a ball of yarn,
And when that cat had kittens, why, they all had sweaters on.

25. Miss Mary had a little light; it was well trained, no doubt,
For ev’ry time a nice boy called, the little light went out.

26. A rich man has his private car; a poor man takes a train.
A hobo walks the railroad tracks but he gets there just the same.

27. The boy stood on the burning deck; the flames were singeing him.
The reason why he stood there was he knew he could not swim.

28. Old Hiram Johnson cut his whiskers off account of heat.
Next morning Mrs. Johnson served the boarders shredded wheat.

29. Our village doctor fell into the well on his way home.
He should have tended to the sick and let the well alone.

30. A half a dozen little kids has Mrs. Lena Pope.
My wife ain’t got no children yet, but where there’s life there’s hope.

31. I went and had myself insured ’cause I’m a clever guy.
I’ll get a hundred bucks to spend the minute that I die.

32. I went down to the racetrack once upon a tip to bet.
The horse was called Niag’ra Falls; I hear he’s running yet.

33. I heard three little birdies sneeze ’way high up in the trees.
I knew why they were catching cold; they had no B.V.D.’s.

34. You’ve heard the tale of Rastus Jones who suffered with cold feet.
He ate a dozen prickly pears; now he’s got prickly heat.

35. There are no fleas in Alabam’ and none in Tennessee,
’Cause when my little puppy died, he willed them all to me.

36. I was the hen-inspector man ’way down in Hackensack.
One farmer didn’t know I was and shot me in the back.

37. They took my mattress Tuesday morn; they took my bed today,
But I should give a good gosh darn; I can’t sleep anyway.

38. When I get in a motor race, I never come in first,
But when I die, I’ll lead them all, ’cause I’ll be in the hearse.

39. I don’t care ’bout no constabule; fear I no town police.
They may find feathers at my house; they’re too late for the geese.

40. When Jones stayed out, he told his wife the king of fairy tales.
He said that he’d been playing polo with the Prince of Wales.

41. I went in bathing one hot day; up came a thunderstorm.
Some fresh kid went and stole my clothes; oh, sweet September morn!

42. Today my landlord sent me word he had to have his rent.
That only means there’s gwine to be a good man in a tent.

43. I went to call on my best girl; her bulldog jumped at me.
He bit me on the old back porch right near the maple tree.

44. While Coolidge had a squab for lunch, Dawes smoked a cigarette,
And Davis looked through Bryan’s glass to see what La Foll-ette.