I made sure I never complained about difficulties that two small kids could present - because Mom had four of us in six years.

We all were unhappy about the blinders she wore as a heavy smoker. The one that was the most hurtful response when we asked her not to smoke in our bedrooms was "It's my house."

But there were lots of smart things, helpful things over the years. I just wish I could remember some of them as clearly as the negative stuff. Taken as a whole, she was a good mom and a very good person. She was a storyteller, so I suspect part of the reason one particular saying doesn't occur to me now is because she had so many things to say.

We had some negotiations as children and parent over the years - when we were quite young she made it clear that if we wanted a blackberry pie from all of the berries along the back fence, we had to pick them, she wasn't going to. And knowing what I know now about the generally time-consuming features of making a pie from scratch, I have to applaud how she always came through if we kids between ourselves decided there were enough berries for a pie. We'd compare our buckets and always pick a few slightly green ones, that was somehow important to the pie results. That night for dinner, pie for dessert!